Kinda had another binge-y day and spinning

I know I said I thought I was cookie-d out, but apparently I wasn’t :/

Yesterday started out good, I got up and had coffee and went for my 8 mile run. The run was great! It was snowing the entire time, and by the end I was almost soaked LOL Luckily it wasn’t too cold. I ran at a good clip too, 9:00 pace for the whole thing! That must have been too much, because I was wiped when I got home. I had some leftover pizza and a couple of cookies, and then took an hour nap. After that I had some candy that I didn’t really want to be having, and later on around dinner I ended up having multiple cookies, chocolate, ice cream, plus dinner. It was just too much, and I don’t even really know why I ate all of that. I still feel crappy this morning.

My solution will be to give away the stuff that I don’t really like. I don’t know why I kept it all in the first place. I would like to stop buying that stuff too, because most of the time it isn’t worth mindlessly eating a bunch anyway. I know I’m not going to keep overeating treats and gain a bunch of weight. But it doesn’t make me feel good, physically or mentally. So I’d like to stop doing that. And if there isn’t a bunch of that stuff hanging around, I won’t actually eat it LOL

In other stuff, I actually spun some fiber yesterday!

IMG_0031It has been sitting on the bobbin for who knows how long. I don’t have any sort of expectations for how it will turn out, but it will be nice if I get it done. I did some more tonight too. Hopefully if I work on it a little every day it will be done before I know it!


Wednesday Weigh-In

So again this week, no major progress.  In fact I’m up!  I guess it depends on how you look at it though…

Last week 147.6, 35% body fat

This week 148, 34 % body fat

So I’m up .4, but down 1% in body fat.  This actually means that even though I’m up, I gained 1.8 pounds of lean body mass.  Well my scale says that anyway, who knows if it is right 😆  That’s what I’m going with though.

Other stats:

  • Average daily calories for the 4 days I counted – 2437
  • Average daily steps – 17416
  • I did about 51 minutes exercise every day – not counting our 4 hour hike!

We went on a mini vacation this weekend, leaving Friday afternoon and coming back Sunday afternoon.  I spent about 14 hours in the car total!  I didn’t count any calories.  We ate at restaurants and had ice cream every day.  We hiked probably 10 miles on Saturday!  I got up and ran 4 miles on Sunday morning 🙂  I think all those make for a huge success!  Normally I would be drinking too much, being hungover but slogging along through the daily activities anyway, and then eating way too much greasy and carby food.  I’m so glad I chose to do better this time.

I had a fleeting thought this morning about giving up – not that I would give up but if I did, what would that entail?  Not a lot really, and it would only be taking away things I like!  I would stop running, when I LOVE running.  I would stop lifting weights and doing boot camp, which makes me feel strong and makes my body look better –  why would I want that?!  I would probably not be taking any calories away, since I’m eating over 2000 every day 😆  I might add beer back in (30 days now!!), but I’m really not missing the unpleasant effects from drinking alcohol.  There is nothing to give up now.  This is how I want to live.

I’m actually thinking I might give up the daily weighing.  I’ve said that I should do that before, but I really am thinking about it.  Since I don’t plan on changing my eating or my workouts, I know the numbers aren’t going to move any faster than they are right now.  I do get frustrated some days, so why not just avoid the frustration and not weigh?  If I am tracking what I eat and getting the same amount of activity in, then I will still make progress.  I don’t know though, I don’t know if I’m ready for it.  Maybe I will try weekly weighing, and then move up to monthly weighing.  It’s funny, because I KNOW it would be good for my mind, but my mind tells me not to do it!!  Ahh well 🙂

Wednesday Weigh-in

I was frustrated and disappointed for a little bit this morning when I weighed in, because things haven’t been moving hardly at all, and today I am up a tiny bit from yesterday.  Almost all week I was lower in my body fat % until today.  Figures 😆  But then I looked at the big picture.

Last week 148.6 – 35%

This week 147.6 – 35%

I am down a pound for the week.  I had told myself earlier in the week that even a .5 pound loss per week would be great, if it hopefully means I will keep it off for good!  So, a 1 pound loss is pretty good.  The body fat was at 34.5% most of the week so I don’t know why it went back up today.  It doesn’t mean that much anyway, a 1 pound difference really.  Also, I’m probably going to start my ‘happy time’, so I wouldn’t be surprised if everything goes back up 😆

Other stats for the week:

  • My average daily steps – 20,688
  • My average daily calories – 2254
  • I did about 1 hour 30 minutes exercise each day

So I’m looking forward to having another good week.  I had fleeting thoughts this morning about giving up the every weigh, or even the scale for good.  But I’m still not there!  Maybe someday.  I think it is enough right now to just try and keep eating as much as I am and staying on top of the activity.

The Fitbit Challenge is wrapping up this week.  I haven’t made much progress really, but it has been a great motivator to keep my steps up.  This session of Boot Camp will be over soon too, only another week left.  Half marathon training is going good, it’s only been 2 weeks but I haven’t missed a run yet.  I may be slogging along as far as pace, but I read that that is better for fat burning anyway 😉

I’ll end with this, a video I someone shared in a closed group on FB.  I needed the reminder.

Venting about weight

Ok, so i know I’ve only been back at this eating better and exercising almost every day for not even two weeks.  10 days.  But normally I would have seen some kind of change already.  I’m getting nothing.  No scale weight change, no measurement change.  It is really frustrating!!  I feel like I am working my butt off for no result.  Other than I feel good about what I’m doing.  So I don’t really know what I am saying 😆

I like doing the workouts, they make me feel good.  That should be good enough.  But I don’t want to stay this weight forever.  If I did, I guess I would still work out because of how it makes me feel.

Can I do something different?  I’m not sure.  The only thing that I would change right now is to cut out the daily glass of wine.  And I probably will.  Next week 😉  But really, that is only like 150-200 calories, and with how I’ve been eating that couldn’t possibly be a deal breaker.

I thought about counting calories today, went and tracked my eats yesterday, started to track what I would eat today.  I just couldn’t.  I just can’t!  It will be the recipe for crazy.  So that is not in the cards.

Guess I will just keep on doing what I’ve been doing.  Working out almost every day, but not too crazy. A lot of walking.  Strength/boot camp, running, and elliptical.  Moving my body.  Eating when I’m hungry and not overeating.  Having balanced meals and eating what I like.

Oh, and I put the scale away in the cupboard.  It’s going to stay there for a while.

Instead of…

Saying I keep failing at losing weight…I could say that I have maintained a 15 pound weight loss for 6 years now, and have maintained another 15 pound weight loss for 4 months now.  Don’t really know how I’ve managed that but I’ll take it 😆

Getting down on myself for not keeping up with my marathon training perfectly…I could say that I think it is impressive that I’ve been able to run 12 miles this time around, and I know I can do 14 this weekend too.  I am still going out there and trying, even though I skip some runs and I’m slow.

Saying that I have been eating too much crap in the last couple of months…I could realize that I really don’t eat out all that much, and also acknowledge that the potato chips i used to adore were not that great today.

Even if I’m not sticking perfectly to what my plan should be, I’m still not doing that bad compared to the way I used to be.  Everything is okay, I will be okay, and eventually I will get to my goal of a healthy (and good-looking) body weight.  No need to freak out.  If anything, I am learning that summer is not a great time for weight loss for me.  Too many events that include junk, just want to be more lazy and enjoy the drink, and besides, it’s too hot to be out and be incredibly active all day!  Trying to juggle homeschooling, work, play-dates, camping, running, and just goofing off is proving to be overwhelming for me.  And that’s okay.

Instead of freaking out…I’ll just keep going.

For Accountability

Okay, things have kind of gone downhill fast here!  I am completely amazed at just how easy it is to fall into bad habits again.  I haven’t been working out.  I want to eat pizza every day 😆  I am being sucked back into the evils of potato chips!  I am enjoying the wine, whiskey, and beer too much.

So what am I going to do about it??

I am going back to the real food rules AND no alcohol until we go to Portland in October.

Originally my plan was to have no alcohol this year and I caved on that, but I really do want to do good with my training plan so taking the temptation away is what I need to do.  I want to be able to be lax about the rules but it isn’t working out so great for me right now.  I’m starting tomorrow.  It will be 151 days from then to October 7th.  I know I can do it.

No more excuses!!!


We went camping this past weekend and it was great!  I only drank one beer on Friday so I could get up and run in Zion the next morning.  I did and it was awesome.  Saturday I didn’t overdo it, even with whiskey involved.  We ate great, having big salads each day and not eating a bunch of crap food.  We didn’t even take any crap food really.  Then we came home on Sunday, and I just let go for some reason.  I drank too much, was hungover Monday, then drank again to feel less shitty.  I’m not really sure why I did this, because I know how awful I feel when I do!  Not just physically but it totally put my mental state in a very bad place.  I quickly felt myself getting so depressed and anxious, and started feeling just not good enough.

So, I am done with that.  I hope that this won’t ever happen again but I really can’t say that it won’t.  I mean, it happens.  I am so grateful for the 3 months that I didn’t drink at all, and while I think I am ready for real life to be happening again, I can only hope that I can keep the self control I had going and not overdo it again.  That is my goal anyway.  Because I love wine, beer, whiskey shots once in a while, so I am not going to give them up totally for any real extended period of my life.  Better learn how to deal with it and still live a healthy life!  Okay, my ‘confession’ is out, and now I can move on. I won’t be drinking at least until we go camping again, which is in 3 weeks.  It messes too much with the weight loss 🙂


Would you call 2 days a slump? I don’t know.  Here I am again after 2 days of not caring, really.  I worked out, sure.  Otherwise I’ve been kind of lazy and depressed.  I made fig newtons yesterday and mindlessly ate a handful of them.  We went out for pizza on Thursday night, which is totally fine and I enjoyed it!  Why did I not care about anything I ate yesterday?!  I guess looking at it, it wasn’t that bad.

  • I ate some yogurt, jam, 1/2 banana, and granola before I worked out.
  • After my workout was a homemade energy bar, tomato juice, apple juice, and 2 hard boiled eggs.
  • Then I had a slice of bread with jam.  Then I started snacking.  I had cheese curds, the fig newtons, a square of chocolate.  I probably had a couple of other things but I can’t remember right now (didn’t track).
  • Dinner was a tamale with roasted veggies that accidentally had way too much oil on them, plus apple juice.  I finished off with half of a caramel and another square of chocolate.
  • Then I had a glass of mead!  What was I thinking?!

So maybe I just needed to type it all out and see that it wasn’t really that bad.  The part I didn’t like was that I was being emotional and eating just because of that.  I haven’t done that in a while.  I don’t want to start doing that again.

Also, in spite of declaring that this year would be ‘dry’, I have decided that it probably won’t be.  I’m not going off the rails, ever again though.  That isn’t how I want to be.  But maybe once a month, when we are camping mostly, I will be having some alcohol.   Why?  I don’t want to be super restrictive.  I don’t want to be obsessing about what I do, eating and drinking or whatever it might be.  I want my existence to be pleasant and relaxed and enjoyable!

I have been waffling about counting calories again, mostly for that reason, that I don’t want to be too restrictive.  Some days I feel like I’m starting to think about food too much again.  And I’m really not sure that I’m losing any more than I would be if I weren’t counting.  I guess I will keep going for now, as it isn’t that hard to do, and I am losing okay right now.

Can I think of one good thing to help me have a better day today?  Yesterday I did weights for about 1 1/2 hours, and today my triceps are pretty sore.  That is a good thing.  And I got up at 5:20 so I can drink my coffee before I attempt 5 miles in the rain.  It’s a noble idea 😆