The Inchworm

I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, well too much anyway :lol:, but I don’t know what in the hell is going on with my body!  It is 2 weeks into March and I am only down like 1 pound since March 1  😦  I am doing everything right, as far as what I’ve committed to doing.  I was doing Intermittent Fasting, but I wasn’t feeling it so now I am just eating when I am hungry and trying not to eat too much.  Also trying to make my meals and snacks balanced.  Definitely not counting calories although I have been tempted many times, but I know it would just make me insane 😉

I am not drinking, not going nuts with sugary stuff, not overeating hardly at all.  I am working out almost every day, strength training 3 times a week now, and eating tons more fruit and vegetables than I started out with in January.  Why is the scale not moving?!  It went up with my ‘special time’ this month and just barely started to come back down.  Now, I haven’t measured again, and I don’t plan to until the end of the month.  I just hope that I am trading fat for muscle and that my body is changing shape, because when I look in the mirror day to day I really can’t see it all that much.  It isn’t all about the numbers, but I’d be lying if I said that seeing them go down wasn’t encouraging!

So, am I discouraged?  At times, briefly.  But what are my options?  Go back to eating crap food, start drinking again, and turn into a lazy lump on the couch?!  No that is not an option!  I somehow forgot all of the basic rules of living a healthy life somewhere along the way.  I realize now that I have to (and want to) eat healthy – just because.  I want to exercise because.  It is what people do, and it is what the body needs!  It isn’t just to lose weight, and then what?  I finally figured out that was my biggest problem too.  6 years ago I was always thinking that I would eat great, stay under 1500 calories every day, exercise as much as possible, and then when I got to my magic number then I could relax.  I did lose a lot of weight and I was probably at a great weight for me, but it was the “once I get there” thinking that messed me up.  Apparently I did get there, and the let loose thinking I didn’t have to watch my food and keep exercising, and imagine that – I gained weight – gasp!  I did it again a couple of years ago.  I was ‘almost there’, and then I quit doing the right things.  So here I am trying again.

Well I think I’ve figured out that I will never be ‘there’  That time will never come.  I will never not have to work out, or not be conscious of what I’m eating, and I really don’t want to sit around all day.  It is just part of a healthy life to care about myself and eat right and exercise.  Even if I do not lose any weight.  I do it because I will enjoy my life more, I will live longer, and be happier.  I won’t do it just to hopefully one day be skinny.  Lightbulb!!

So even though I am losing slowly, at an inchworm pace, I am confident that this time I am just living, not solely trying to lose weight.  I am just doing my best at trying to live healthy.  No crazy eating habits, no getting rid of complete food groups, no deprivation.  No insane amounts of exercise, just doing what is comfortable for me but still pushing myself.  This is just my life now, and I’m sure my pounds and inches will come around eventually and someday my body will be how it is meant to be.  Whatever that is, I will take it.

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