Good feeling…

A month ago I decided to really clean up my act.  Most importantly, I started working out again and quit drinking!  I started eating better and trying to cut most of the junky and super fatty and carb heavy foods.  Once I quit drinking I was able to work on my attitude 😉  Things are going a lot better today.  I’m not much lighter, which is one of my big goals, maybe 5 pounds are gone.  But I know that if I keep working at it, eventually I’ll be where I’m meant to be.  I have been working out almost every day and now I’m running at least 10 miles a week, more to come as I train for the Salt Lake Half Marathon just next month.

I’m eating loads better, but without any ‘rules’ holding me back or keeping me on the extreme path.  If I want potato chips, ice cream, chocolate, or pizza, I eat it!  In fact I eat chocolate every day.  But I don’t really want all of that stuff constantly like I did before.  I’m enjoying cooking new things, and at the same time eating my ‘boring’ oatmeal and raw veggies every day.  It is so nice to not feel like I’m fighting myself all of the time!  The biggest thing for me is that I stopped overeating, and I stopped eating without feeling hunger.  I’m not 100% on eating only when I’m hungry, but I at least try to figure out why I want to eat – boredom, anxiety, stress, anger.

Having M here with me all day while we homeschool, work, and generally goof off has done a lot for me too.  I felt like we were starting to drift apart with her being gone all day, and added stress from the daily commute and co-oping (though I love all her schoolmates!) was just getting to be too much.  I was really starting to accept my big-time failure as a mom.  I feel like we are both thriving now and getting to know each other a lot better.  I’m able to tolerate a lot more without freaking out and I think our relationship is getting stronger.  I feel bad that it wasn’t always perfect, but whose parent/child relationship is?  I’m glad it is better now 🙂

It’s hard for me to believe it but every day I keep waking up and just feeling more and more positive.  After spending most of last year in what seemed like a deep and dark negative hole that I couldn’t get out of, I am so grateful to be feeling good.  That is all!

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2 Comments

  1. Good for you! Sounds like you’re headed down the right path. Keep at it!

    Reply
  2. Heather

     /  March 14, 2011

    Great for you, Lauren!

    And 5 pounds in a month IS a lot, but feeling great is the best reward.

    Reply

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