It’s my blog

So I should post what I want, right?  Not like anyone really reads anymore except a few, and a heartfelt thanks goes out to those of you who stuck with me!  I have been debating whether or not to talk about my weight loss efforts, I know in the past I have but not very much.  I wonder if its anyone's business, would it bore you to tears?!, what if I just plain fail to make progress, what an embarassment that would be!  Well if you know me in real life you probably know that I've struggled with my weight, considering that being a knitblog, I met the local knitters when I was at least 20 pounds lighter.  And my family and friends have seen the up and down.  So its not a secret, right?, and people probably don't really give it a second thought.  I think I have a problem with putting thoughts into other people's heads, when really I'd be surprised at how little people actually do think of me!  I hope that came out right…anyway.  So I have/had this other blog dealing with my weight loss and this morning I decided enough was enough.  I have been up and down, yo-yoing around, failing, and today I am just done with it!  Not that I don't want to drop some pounds still.  I just don't want the mental anguish that goes along with starting and failing another diet, or plan as I would rather have called them 😉  So I wrote this post today for the other blog, but I've decided to just mesh the two together.  I'm probably going to change the name and location of this blog, eventually, but it is yet to be decided.  

I hope I don't offend or bore anyone who still reads, I promise I will not talk about food, weight, and exercise ALL the time.  And hopefully I don't sound like some crazy, obsessed freak (what I'm trying to get away from LOL)  I'm just doing this partly for my sanity and also for ease of operations 🙂  So anyway, here's the post I wrote today.

So this was a 'diet' blog.  Today I decided I don't want to 'diet' anymore, so I deleted the whole thing, weigh-ins and all.  It was filled with ups and downs, or yo-yo dieting posts.  I would have liked to say that I wasn't dieting any of the time for the last, oh 5 years.  Just trying new ways of eating and doing it for my health.  But ultimately I was just dieting.  And the constant yo-yoing was just hurting me more than helping.  So I am done with it.  I don't want to do the extreme thing anymore.  I just want to enjoy my life, food and health without the constant worry of 'how much do I weigh?', or 'I look so fat today'.  just want to be me.


So I deleted everything, put away the scale, and now the focus is just going to be on making my life better.  Making my life better definitely includes being healthier.  I've always said that I just want to be healthy and be a good example to my now 6 year old daughter.  So if it is really about that, then I have to be honest and get rid of the scale.  Done.

From now on I will let how I feel dictate how I live.  I know if I exercise and eat well that I feel good.  I know that when I drink to excess I blow off exercise, and I don't feel good.  But I am done associating guilt with what I eat or drink or my activity level.  

I hope it isn't a contradiction to have some goals though, I don't think so.  I do want to be fit and I need to aspire to something, just wanting it and not doing anything about it doesn't work, right?  So right now I have a half marathon race that I've already committed to on July 10th, so my main focus will be that.  I want to get in 3-4 runs each week until the race, making my long runs longer, hopefully getting up to at least 8 miles by then.  I was doing good on my training but ended up taking 3 weeks off so now I'm way off track.  But I want to get back on track, so I'm going to revamp my training schedule to something manageable for where I am right now and just go from there.  I also want to do strength training 3 times a week.  I have a program that I'm using already, but I don't make it consistent so I want to change that.  

So these will be my fitness goals:

  • Run 3-4 times a week.  Running days should be Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
  • Strength train 3 times a week.  These days are Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. 
  • Do some type of cardio on my off days from running.  Elliptical, walking, jump rope, hiking, whatever.  Just something. 
  • I also want to start doing yoga again.  I think 3 times a week would be a good start.  Probably on my strength training days is the best idea. 
  • Karate practice should also be in here.  I'd like to do a little every day, like 20 minutes.  My goal is to start waking up early every day to get it in. 

That should be a good start, and hopefully not too overwhelming.  I may or may not make a chart to track progress.  We will see, though I probably will.  Old habits die hard!!

Other than that, I don't know what else to say right now.  I'm done counting calories, it gets old and the minute I go off track it hurts me to see the number climb in a day.  For now I have a plan that I will kind of follow but it does need tweaking.  I want to try and follow more of the Intuitive Eating way of things, listening to my body as to what I want to eat and eating until I'm satisfied and not more being the things I need to work on most.  So I suppose my homework is to make a list of foods that I really like to eat.  I figure if it isn't on the list then why eat it?  I guess another assignment will be to stay off the scale 😉  I'm going by how I feel from now on, and I'm not going to focus and obsess over the numbers anymore.  

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5 Comments

  1. I think ‘diet’ is such a rigid and (to most people) negative word that it just sucks all of the happy right out of life. Good for you to declare freedom from it and instead decide to just be ‘healthy’!!!

    Reply
  2. What a pity I miss seeing all those gorgeous knits! Thanks for sharing the photos.

    Reply
  3. I gained 15 pounds the last two years! But I started exercising plus I cut out most sugar and chips/cookies/etc. and lost 12. It took 3 months but I don’t miss any of those foods any more. Although I did have some gelato on Saturday!

    Reply
  4. I hope things go well!

    Reply
  5. Heather

     /  June 9, 2010

    I think you’re very wise!

    Reply

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