May goals update

Things have been busy, between work, working out, school, getting ready to not have M in school…you know.  Normal stuff.  I guess since May is almost over I’ll just go ahead and update on my goals I set earlier this month.

Start exercising again – I have been doing well with this one!  I had my scheduled workouts, but I haven’t stuck to them to perfectly.  I’ve had to work a few doubles and that really messes with my routine.  Plus it’s hard to get up at 5:00 am if you worked until 11:30 pm :/  I’m also thinking I will revamp my ‘schedule’, or how I want to work out.  I’m not really feeling the running right now, well I am, but I guess I don’t want to HAVE to do it.  And I think I need more strength days right now.  I have been working out at least 5 days a week, sometimes a quick run before weights too.  And toward the end of last week I was starting to feel really burned out.  So I took a few days off.  I think I feel a bit better today, but I’m taking it as a sign that I was just doing too much.  When work gets me well over 10,000 steps alone, I think I’m getting plenty of activity and I probably should just CTFO (chill the fuck out!).  So I’m going to lean toward a different approach, focus on the 3 strength days and otherwise just do what I feel like doing.  I’m not planning on any marathon or other races this year so there is really no need to push the running right now.  I’d rather just do what I want and really enjoy it.  Like hiking :)  Anyway, this one is done!  I’m exercising again!

Do some meal prep on the weekends – I’ve been hit or miss on this one.  That’s not to say that I still haven’t been prepared!  I am still taking food to work almost every day, and there have at least been pre-made salads in the fridge.  I just haven’t been doing it on the weekends, more just when I know I need it for that day or the next one.  I could still do better.  But we aren’t eating out as much as before so this is still a win.

Grocery shop on the regular – As I said up there, we are eating out less, so I guess I am doing this.  It’s all kind of a blur and there aren’t set days for shopping, I just go when it needs to be done.  And I load up on veggies so we will be set for the week.  When we start to run out, I do it again!  As long as we aren’t eating out like 3 times a week, I think we are doing a lot better.

Start keeping my meals in check – I have been posting pics on Twogrand almost daily.  I’m not making too much progress, down maybe a pound and a couple of inches – I know it IS progress, but I want to do better.  So I’m going to start counting calories after the fact.  Probably :lol:  I have done it the last two days and I think as long as I still to a reasonable amount for my activity level, I should be fine and not experience any craziness in my head :)  Last time I shot for a daily goal it was around 2000 per day.  Enough to feel satisfied and not freak out because I can’t have treats!  So I guess I will make a goal to track calories most of the time for the next month and see if that helps my goals.

I also have 30 days under my belt with no alcohol!  It hasn’t been hard, really, just different.  Sometimes I think it will suck being summer and missing out on enjoying myself, but then I get over it.  I don’t need it to enjoy things.  I’m also saving money.  And I feel a ton better than I did a month ago.  I wouldn’t have even had any energy to work out, and getting through the day was becoming a chore.  So I’m glad I quit.  And hopefully my body will start realizing I am trying to do good things for it again and let go of a little weight!

 

A day on my Fitbit

Yesterday started early yet a little late, I slept for about 15 minutes after my alarm went off so I got up at 5:40.  I have been really good about just getting right up and getting dressed for my runs.  I just did 2 miles, but it was a rough 2!  I did ‘good’ and had a strange tasting protein drink afterward – I tried a Vega shake and did not like it at all.  I’ll stick to Sun warrior until it’s gone and then I have a tub of Plant Fusion I’m excited for.

Back to the subject!  I dropped M off at school and then went straight up the canyon for a hike.  It was a bit chilly at first but I got warmed up right away!  I did the first Pipeline trail in Millcreek and at the fork I went left, to what I think ends up being the Bonneville Shoreline trail.  I think?  Anyway, it took me about 50 minutes to make my way up and then half the time to come back down.  I ran when I could, it is actually easier on my knee somehow LOL.

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After that I hit up Trader Joe’s for a ton of stuff I did NOT need.  It was mostly convenience items with a smattering of veggies, and I spent $150!  I guess you really should never go shopping when you are hungry :)  Back home where I met my friends and their kids for lunch.  We made two batches of chile verde over the weekend and so we had some of that.  After two tacos and a salad I was completely stuffed.  After we walked over to the pond to find some goose families I realized my Fitbit was gone! :(  I hoped I left it at Trader Joe’s somewhere, so I had K stop on his way home from work.  I can’t believe it, but it was there!!  Thank goodness!

At the end of the day, here’s what I ended up with.

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It’s a little confused as to how hard that hike was on the way up, I think ;)  And you can see the gap from where I lost it.  It’s not the biggest day I’ve ever had as far as stats, but I’m still proud of it, and it felt really good to get out there and move my body.

While I was in the canyon I paid for an annual pass, so I’m going to try to go as much as I can on my days off.  I’d like to do the same hike a few more times and see if I can improve my time!

Mother’s Day

My kid decided to go sleep over at a friend’s house last night, and K is working today.  So I am spending Mother’s Day morning alone.  I couldn’t even sleep in LOL  I guess my gift to myself will be to enjoy my coffee.  Then I will wait until it is light enough to go out for a long-ish run on the parkway, and hopefully not get rained on – well, too much anyway!  I like running in the rain but it is a little cold right now, like 40 degrees :)  I thought about searching out some eggs benedict, we’ll see.  We had friends over last night so the house is clean.  Clean, quiet, no obligations really.  I can deal with that!

Happy Mother’s Day :)

Getting going on goals

An update on my goals for May so far.

I have definitely been doing the exercise!  This week I:

  • did a run/walk on Monday
  • run/walk again on Tuesday
  • weights on Wednesday
  • run on Thursday – I did 30 minutes straight with no walking!  granted, the pace was pretty slow, but still!

This morning I’m up way too early, woke up at 4:00 and couldn’t sleep.  I have been going to bed around 9:00 though so I still got 7 hours sleep.  I’m having a little coffee and then I’m going to get out for another run, and then do some weights.  I’m scheduled to do the weights tomorrow but I don’t think I will have time.  I forgot I have to get up at 5:00 anyway to make it to work on time!

I’m going to try the New Rules of Lifting for Women program.  I’ve had the book for a long time and started the program once or twice before but never followed through.  It may take me a while since I am only doing 2 workouts per week, but it seems as good as any other program so I’m giving it a shot.  The first workout made me SO sore!  DOMS set in just before bed and it was so bad it woke me up during the night LOL  I hadn’t done any kind of strength workout in months, so I knew it was coming.

I also did good with grocery shopping and meal prep this week, but I could have done better.  I made a few salads for lunches, which is pretty much all I did besides making sure there was food in the fridge to be made into dinners.  But that is a lot more than what I was doing before.  And the salads were awesome.  I meant to make hard boiled eggs but I never got around to it.  I’ll try to do better this weekend and get some more stuff made!  We only went out to eat twice though.  Wednesdays I don’t have to take carpool kids to school so M and I have been going out for breakfast before school.  So we did that, and then last night pizza was on the menu and we went out again to The Pie.  Twice is a big improvement over the past weeks.

I have also discovered a new app for food tracking that looks pretty promising!  I just found it last night so I haven’t played around with it yet, but it looks to be just what I was wanting.  It’s called twogrand.  You can take and add pictures of meals and add workouts too, and follow others and see their meals and workouts too.  I am pretty much only following ETF people right now, not really interested in seeing any disordered eating.  I’m going to play with it today and see how I like it.  Related to food tracking, I had been having ice cream and other treats every day for the past few weeks, but I finally had it in me to go one day without a nightly treat.  The only treats I had yesterday were a girl scout cookie and a piece of chocolate.  I was going to go back for one more piece of chocolate but decided against it.  I was still pretty full from dinner and I didn’t really need it anyway.  I need to do more of that, really listening to my body and giving it what it needs, or staying away from what it doesn’t.

Ok, I have a full day today so I better get going!

I ran today!

Well, it was more of a run/walk, but what counts is that I went!  I made it almost 2.5 miles in 30 minutes, running 3 and walking 1.  My lungs were seriously burning after the first few intervals.  But then it got better.  My plan for the rest of the week is to do some strength training on Wednesday, run again on Thursday and Friday, strength again on Saturday, and then another run on Sunday. Also, I am on Day 8 with no alcohol :D  I still don’t feel fabulous like I’d like to, but I’m getting there.  More sleep, better eating, and regular exercise will get me there.  I hope?! Now I can enjoy my second day off in a row.  Maybe I will go get some coffee before my dentist appointment :/

Making some goals

It’s been a while huh?  Four months since I last posted.  Life has just been busy.  But here I am.  I haven’t been doing the things that I want to do for a long time now, so I thought I’d make some monthly goals again to help nudge me in the right direction.  I’ll get straight to the point.

  • Start exercising again.  I haven’t done any kind of consistent exercise in months.  I’m feeling very out of shape and really wanting to get back into it.  I am back to working full time in a pretty active job, but I still want to get back into running.  I am dreaming of summer morning trail runs.  But it will take me a while to get back there, I know.  So I’m going to just aim for run/walks and a couple of strength training workouts each week.
  • Do some meal prep on the weekends.  My schedule is weird for me still, even though I’ve been working 9-5 most days since March.  I’m still getting used to it.  I get home and it’s just enough time to get dinner and relax for an hour and then it seems like it is bedtime.  Working at 7-11 doesn’t give me too many great choices for food, so I need to bring it from home.  I need to figure out easy things that I can do in the morning to make sure I eat great every day.
  • Grocery shop on the regular.  This goes along with the food planning.  We’ve been eating out way too much because it is easy, we are tired, it sounds more fun than making dinner, the list goes on…I know if we have plenty of good food in the fridge, I will do better and we will all eat better.  So even though it might be tough after work or annoying on my days off, I have to get back to regular grocery shopping for good food.
  • Start keeping my meals in check, somehow.  I’ve thought about calorie counting again and I might.  I’ve thought about just taking a quick pick of meals and posting on Instagram (I’ve only signed up there, not actually used it so this might be a good idea lol).  I get pretty busy during the day and it is easy to go without eating, but I know that isn’t really good for me.  Anyway.  Still working on what I’m going to do here but I’ll figure it out.

These will help me to get back to a more healthy lifestyle, I’m sure.  Here are some other random things.

I’m working full time because K bought a second 7-11!  It has been a busy, tough, and crazy time since March.  Hopefully it will all be worth it in a year or two and he will have loans paid off and such, and we will be in a more secure financial place.  It is a big gamble but it seems to be paying off so far.  Only time will tell.

School is almost out, only about a month to go!  Working more will make summer tricky, but we’ll figure it out.

I’ve decided to do another 100 day challenge, this time it is no alcohol.  I’m on day 4 and feeling really good about it.  It has been time for a break for a while now.  I’m ready to start feeling a lot better without it.  I’m sure it will help me to get more motivated to exercise regularly again.

Obsessed with The Walking Dead right now.  I finished all 3 seasons on Netflix in  about a week?  LOL  I’m waiting for K to catch up and then we’ll figure out how to watch the rest together.

I think that’s about all I can come up with right now.  I’m going to check in weekly with my goals and hopefully by the end of the month they’ll be habits :D

Fighting the diet urges

I still haven’t been doing great in regards to living a healthy lifestyle.  This month has pretty much been zero exercise and too much booze.  I don’t want to keep yo-yoing so I’ve been trying to think of ways I can really make a difference in my life and health.  I know I need to make consistent, long-term changes, made by practicing daily habits.  While I want to do something challenging to kick-start change, I also know that I need to keep things relatively easy or I just won’t stick to it.  I’m fighting a lot of thoughts to start a diet or a new plan, but I know that isn’t really what I want to do.  So I made a quick list of things I could do to help me out.

And we are going to do a couple of ‘big’ things.  We are going back to the Real Food Challenge, with some exceptions of course ;)  While we do this we are also going to stop eating out at restaurants.  We have been doing this way too much, and while I do like it for the most part, it is just too much money being wasted!  Especially since I am pretty picky about my food!  So we are going to cut that out.  We are going to be really strict for the next 6 months, about 80 days longer than the 100 days we did before!  I know we will all feel better.

Anyway, here’s what I came up with besides that.

  • Aim for balanced meals
  • Eat more salads/veggie based meals
  • Eat more beans and fish
  • Cut out alcohol and other empty calorie drinks
  • Eat real food, avoid processed food (as above)
  • Quit eating out
  • Get enough sleep!!  (I’m really failing on this one)
  • Exercise daily, some days just walking will be my exercise
  • Make exercise/fitness goals – my main ones right now will be to restart and complete the Train to be Awesome programs, and to work back into running when the air gets better here.  I’m dreaming of actually doing the marathon again this year, but I guess I’ll wait to see how it goes, and if I would even have the funds to do it.
  • Do other things that I enjoy more, like knitting, spinning, reading, playing more games with M and such.

I really hope that I can start to turn things around for good.  I’m tired of ‘doing good’, or starting and stopping.  My life just keeps on going, whether or not I think I’m starting fresh or whatever :lol:  There isn’t any stopping!  I have to get this through my head and just try to do my best every day.  I hope that this year I can get all of the weight-related junk out of my head and just enjoy my life.

Food Budget wrap up for the year

I won’t go into the details of what we bought, just want to catch up and finish out the yearly budget.  We did a lot of eating out.  We also bought a lot of stuff for Christmas dinner and to make goodies to give to my family and friends.  I guess it probably all evened out.

  •  Week 1 $84.46
  • Week 2 $157.60
  • Week 3 $163.30
  • Weeks 4 & 5 $25.58
  • Week 6  $166.90
  • Week 7 $146.80
  • Week 8 $202.40
  • Week 9 $208.57
  • Week 10 $280.10
  • Week 11 $195.90
  • Week 12 $150.20
  • Week 13 $188.59
  • Weeks 14-17 $140.25 per week, total of $420.75
  • Weeks 18-21 $127.50 per week, total of $510
  • Weeks 22-24 $90.28 per week, total of $270.84
  • Week 25 $168.40
  • Week 26 $175.60
  • Week 27 $89
  • Week 28 $89
  • Week 29 $272
  • Week 30 $216
  • Week 31 $43
  • Week 32 $80.30
  • Week 33 $172.26
  • Week 34 $269.50
  • Week 35 $101.30
  • Week 36 $366.80
  • Week 37 $150
  • Week 38 $110
  • Week 39 $200.80
  • Week 40 $268.32
  • Week 41 $94.54
  • Week 42 $141.70
  • Week 43 $9.28
  • Week 44 $147.66
  • Week 45 $132.2
  • Week 46 $261.1
  • Week 47 $28.40
  • Week 48 $205.60
  • Week 49 $119.10
  • Week 50 $162.30
  • Week 51 $103.40
  • Week 52 $155.20

So if I was spending $125 per week, that would be $6,500 for the year.

Our 52 week total ended up being $7504.75 (unless I added wrong!), which comes out to be $144.32 per week.  This is actually pretty great!!  That includes food for parties, and food that we put up, and all of my overbuying on sales :lol:

I don’t know that I’ll keep doing these.  It was fun to see where we are at and to be able to keep under the $150 weekly mark.  If I keep doing it, I’ll try to add more of how we are actually using the stuff up. I do want to try and keep less food overall in the house.  We have shelves downstairs that are overflowing with food.  All shelf stable stuff of course.  Just things that were on sale, and a lot of it makes sense but it doesn’t if we don’t use it regularly!  I’m going to try and be better about that this year.  Anyway.

That’s a wrap!

 

Another hat

M liked the cotton candy beanie so much that I knit another one!  (Since the original wasn’t meant for her).  Now she gets to have her pick.  I used red yarn this time and I think I like it better.  I bet I could squeeze one more hat out of what’s left of the novelty yarn…

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It just doesn’t matter! Or, a total 180.

So, I have been reading old posts on my blog, and it really saddens me to see how much I used to care about stuff other than weight, and now I just don’t.  Maybe this isn’t apparent since I pretty much quit blogging in the last couple of years.  But I have become almost completely obsessed with my weight.  It takes over in a lot of aspects of my life!

I used to love knitting and spinning and all things fiber related.  Even though I would knit sweaters in the hopes of wearing them someday in a smaller size than I was.  That all seems kind of, well, really depressing to me now.  I had my baby in February 2004.  It is freaking 2013, almost 2014 now!!  How long am I going to let this obsession with my weight last?!  I really need to get over it.  I need to heal.  It has morphed into this really unhealthy thing, where if I am not doing awesomely, I am doing extremely poorly.  My life should not depend on what my weight is.  I just can’t do this anymore!

I am making a commitment right now to just not give a shit anymore.  Not in an I don’t care about my health way, but in an I won’t shame myself way anymore.  My weight is not the most interesting thing about me.  I am pretty damn shallow if I base what I think about myself on my weight!  I can’t believe I have let myself get to this point, where I care/obsess about my weight and size so much.  I am normally a kind of ‘fuck you’ person, or, I don’t really care what people think about me.  I must have been paying too much attention to the media to get to this point where I care so much.

Am I a good person?  Am I doing the things that will really help me in life?  Am I giving all I can to the people I care about most in my life?  These are the things I should be worrying about.  Not if I am going to be able to buy smaller pants soon.  There are really more important things to worry about than the size of my thighs.  And honestly?  I think once I stop obsessing about my size, I will probably finally be able to come to peace with it, and actually make some progress.

I am not healthy right now. I am drinking too much because I am disappointed with myself.  I can quit, and I will feel so much better.  I can just exercise without deadlines, like I know I will need to for the rest of my life, and it will probably be more enjoyable just to be doing it for fitness, rather than a specific number of calories burned.

I feel like an ass having to admit all of this.  That I was completely wrong, for so long.  That I have just been torturing myself for the last 7 or 8 years.  And for what?!  I really don’t know.    But in reading through my past entries, I know something isn’t right these days, and it hasn’t been right for a really long time.  I was fit-ish when I started blogging, and in reading old entries I can just see myself getting so much more unhappy, and weighing more and being more unfit.  And I think most of it was due to myself putting a stigma on gaining any weight.  Weight gain happens.  Life happens.  If you aren’t consistent with some kind of regimen, well, things are going to happen!  That’s what happened with me.  I never found something that I wanted to stick with for life.  I always wanted to be on the extreme end of things.  I am realizing now that there are normal people that make small choices every day and don’t kill themselves in the gym and have long and healthy, happy lives still.  Extreme doesn’t win.

I am making it my goal now to just not give a fuck.  Not like I am going to do whatever and not care, but I am going to try and be happy and healthy and not give a fuck as to what my size or weight is.  I think I am ready to just give up the scale and all of the negatives that it holds for me.

Am I happy?  Do I feel good?  Am I living my life in a healthy manner?  Those are the things that matter.  Everything else is just buying into the noise that the media wants me to hear.  I am tired of this up and down roller coaster that I have been on for the last 8+ years.  I just want to live, to enjoy what I do every day, and to be healthy.

So I’m not sure what that means for this blog!  I hope that I will learn to take interest once again in things that are not weight related.  I hope that I will become enamored with knitting and spinning once again!!  I am good at it.  Why I gave it up, I do not know.  I would like to find some purpose in my life again, be it knitting or whatever.  I do know that obsessing about weight and plans isn’t healthy or fulfilling in any way.

I guess what I will try to do now is NOT calorie count.  I know the count of most things, and I know what are good choices and what are not.  I am going to try and get in touch with my body and mind.  I am going to try and go the intuitive route, eating when I feel like I need to, and eating what I know works for me in regards to working out.  I am going to work out still, 3 days weights and 3 days running or other cardio.  I am just going to try and listen to my body and do right by myself.  I do care about what I look like, but at the same time I don’t.  If I can learn to listen to ME and not give a shit about what anyone thinks of me, then that will be fantastic.  That will be the ultimate goal for me!!!  So I guess no more counting.  No more monitoring.  If I come across something that is amazing or interesting to eat, I will blog it.  Otherwise, my sustenance isn’t going to be my major blog content.

I’m not sure if anyone is reading, but if anyone is, I hope that I can find more interesting things to blog about than my meals and workouts.  I am going to start knitting more, which is what this blog started out as, and I hope to just be more crafty in general with food and knitting and everything else.  I miss the old ME!!!!  I want her back.  And I am going to get her back.  Not sure what else to say about it all, but I’m looking forward to a brand new day, even if I shared my new knitting with y’all already today ;)

Here’s to the new me I guess?!

I’m starting now.  Not waiting until New Year’s.  There isn’t any reason to wait!  I can do the best I can every day, no matter what special holiday it is.  So tomorrow, I’m not going to weigh in on myself in any way.  I’m just going to try to do good for myself.  And be happy :)