Where I tell you I’ve been stumbling but now I’m finally starting to better and I hope that it sticks. I haven’t wanted to say anything, of course. Who wants to look like the loser doing the same thing over and over, never making any progress, being their own worst enemy?!
Well in reading quite a few blogs, I realized that I am not the only one who is stumbling a little at this time. And it is okay to stumble. What isn’t okay is to go back into that place where I just don’t care at all every single day and keep eating crap and drinking until I’ve gained back the 15 I’ve lost this year. I can admit that yeah I messed up, again, but I’m not giving up.
Summer is here, and all I’ve wanted to do is be lazy and drink beer. And I have But I’d been overdoing it and missing a whole week’s of workouts, and I decided enough was enough. I started tracking my food again and on the first day it was 2400 calories, next was 2250, and yesterday was 1100. I was so disgusted with myself yesterday morning as my sports bra would barely fit and I felt so puffy and big. I decided to just not eat until dinner. And so I didn’t. And it felt awesome. It gave me the control that I have been so desperately chasing after for about 2 months. And yeah 1100 calories isn’t that much, but I’ve been going overboard and so I’m sure my body isn’t going to freak out on me if I’m giving it less than 2400 + calories. In fact I feel pretty great this morning. So I’m going to do it again today. Am I getting back in the IF groove? I don’t know, I kind of hope so! I felt great when I did it before, and it really did seem to help the pounds kind of melt off. And there’s the control thing – I NEED that.
So there is that. I hope to get back in the driver’s seat of my life and finally start making some GOOD progress again, instead of hovering at the same weight and barely making it through each day. I need to get my fitness back up. I am still planning on running a marathon in early October, and I would still like to be lighter and a little faster if possible!! If I don’t get some really good momentum RIGHT NOW, I am very doubtful about the whole marathon thing. But I really want to do it! So I’m really going to try.
Anyway, hopefully this will be my last post like this in a very long time. We are going camping again this weekend and I have a plan to succeed. All I have to do is follow it. And if I make it through this weekend and stick to my plan, then I’m sure that I can stay on track and reach some of my goals before the marathon.
P.S. If you are at all interested in what I’m eating, I believe that if you click the MyFitnessPal badge on the sidebar, it’ll take you to my food diary. Unless I did it wrong